...and I do. I've developed an expensive addiction that I cant seem to overcome. Every other day I'm online looking for where I can get them for the best price, and even when I can't find a sale, it just doesn't matter. I'll pay full price if I have to. My house is now littered with them, with more on the way here now. 6 to be exact. My husband doesn't know about my fetish. He sees some of them around the house, but he doesn't quite realize just how many I have, or how much they cost. Thankfully the only posts he every sees on this blog are the ones I show him. Next time I'll just skip over this one, lol. So, what is this addiction, I'm sure you're wondering. Is it shoes? Clothes? Movies? Makeup? Jewelry? No, nothing nearly as exciting as that. My addiction is:
Candles. Yankee brand candles.
I'm sorry if it's not the flashy habit that I may have led you to expect. Yes, I love Yankee candles. They smell amazing! I've bought most of the cheaper brands of candles, like Mainstays from Walmart, whatever the store brand from Target is called, Woodwick from Bed, Bath & Beyond. None of them have enough scent to fill a room, and that's the whole reason I purchase them. It may be gross, but one of the man rooms I need candles is the bathroom.
Unfortunately the two men in my life have the stinkiest asses I've ever had the misfortune of smelling. Their odors linger long after the diaper is safely ensconced in the Diaper Genie, what seems like hours after the toilet has been flushed. I've walked into Trey's room more than an hour after changing his Huggie, and my poor nostrils were assailed by green tendrils of gaseous fumes that reached out toward me like a bony hand... No, I'm serious. I've only been back in there once since then. And that was when I had my friend Sarah and her daughter, Leia, over. Sorry, girls, but there's strength in numbers, and I knew that if you were with me I had a better chance of survival. Unfortunately I can't keep candles in Trey's room because, well, it might burn my baby up, which is inadvisable to say the least. The bathroom is a different story. He can't reach anything in there so I'm free to light all the candles I want. And I do. I have one big jar candle, two votive candles, and two pillars. You'd think that'd be enough. It isn't. I've waited hours before going in to take a bath, lit all the candles and STILL only been able to stay in there for like 10 minutes. I think that it goes without saying that a 10 minute bath is hardly worth it, considering it takes at least that amount of time to get the bubble to water ratio correct.
Ok, maybe I'm over exaggerating. A little. I can admit that I use this as an excuse to continue my habit of compulsive candle consumption. I can also admit that it's partially my fault that my boys have such offensive, smelly butts, I am in charge of what they eat most of the time. It's my fault for giving them all those vegetables and meats. It's my fault for wanting them to be healthy and gets all the proteins, vitamins and minerals that they need. I'll take that blame. As soon as I post this, I think I'll head over to the Yankee website.
After all, it's all my fault and why should they have to suffer from the stench?
*I apologize to anyone who reads this and feels offended, but when you live with stinky man-butt, you're bound to write about it a time or two.
1 comment:
First off, that picture on the right is smokin hot. I want you to do my hair that way.
Second, I looooove that we made the blog. Famous! And we should have a seance in the bathroom, there's enough candles.
Stinky butts totally justify fetishes for scented candles.
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