Trey saw Mommy kissing telling Santa Claus to go sleep on the air bed in the living room. Hey, I need sleep and NCAA '12 is not conducive to a restful environment. I need a good amount of sleep after running around behind a toddler all day, but also because long after he's asleep I'm online looking for the best price on a "Let's Rock Elmo" well after midnight.
Christmas shopping used to be simple. Curtis and I would stop off at Target on our way back home to visit the family and pick up one toy for each of our seven nieces and nephews and something for his parents. My siblings-in-law had to go without, unfortunately. But hey, who said love and hugs aren't good gifts?! (Probably the person who only got love and hugs while everyone was opening up iPods on Christmas morning... oh wait, I just described myself).
For Trey's first Christmas I was juiced to buy him some toys! I waited with bated breath until Black Friday, then I burst through the doors of Target at 4am, for once joining the rest of the mothers stampeding to the toy section, leaving bruised and battered childless women in our wake. What was I after you ask? A music table... no, that's it, just the music table. One toy. One $20 toy. If my son ever questions my love for him, this will be the second story I tell him, right after I remind him that he lived in my uterus for 9 months and left my stomach strewn with stretch marks (which I expect to be lasered off sometime in the future as a mother's day present). Buying presents for a 5 1/2 month old baby isn't easy. I figured it'd be best not to go overboard, so I only got him a handful of toys. His music table, some books, and a jumperoo. Ah, the jumperoo. I was so excited for that damn thing. I figured I could put him in it for about 20 minutes and maybe have a quick second to brush my teeth for the first time in about a week, maybe even take a wet washcloth to my "hot spots" before he freaked out. Don't pretend you haven't done it, moms. Showers take time you don't have, so if you're in a pinch, sometimes the best you can do is run a cloth under your arms, under your boobs, through the va-jay and the booty, then repeat to get the soap out. But I digress. Back to the jumperoo. He loathed it. If I even carried him into the vicinity of it, he lost his mind. Well, that was $75 down the drain (that I'll be taking out of his allowance when he's older... lol). Oh well, I thought to myself, next year he'll be big enough to open presents, so it'll be more fun, plus there'll be a wider variety of toys to choose from.
Let's derail from the Christmas train for a second and revisit his first birthday. Trey received a ton of toys from his family and friends, which was awesome because it was just about that time to get him some more age appropriate toys. Apparently those plastic key rings are only fun for so long, who knew? Skip ahead about a week and he's bored with all of them. And I mean ALL of them. He'd much rather play with spoons, pens, phones and remotes, which are obviously sooo much cooler than pianos, guitars, ride-on trains, and a plethora of books, Elmo toys and blocks. Skip ahead to September, and Mommy gets the idea that since Trey loves to bounce on the bed, she should get him a little trampoline with a handle so he can jump to his heart's content. Yeah, another mark in the "Mom buys lame toys" column. He'll get on it for about a minute, look at me for approval, then get off and run to me with his "I did good!" face. Yet another $60 wasted on something that he's got little to no interest in. Good job, Mom, good job.
So now it's October, and my favorite holiday is rapidly approaching once again: Black Friday. For the past 2 years, we've gotten a new TV and a few things for the house on this most special of days. It's like pulling teeth to get Curtis to come with me, but it's worth it to get him on cart duty while I snake my way through people to get to the goods. This year I'm hoping that the "Let's Rock Elmo" goes on sale, because I'll be damned if I spend another $60 on a toy that's going to be thrown by the wayside in favor of spoons and pens. Do you know how many Yankee Candles I could get with that!??! Like one, after tax and shipping, but still, at least I'd USE it, lol. So now, not only am I planning on getting the Elmo, but I feel like I need the entire set, which includes guitar (which Trey already has), a piano (which Trey already has), and a microphone... (which Trey already has). Wait!! Let me explain/justify/validate myself! Elmo recognizes the piano, guitar and mic that belong with his set, and I think Trey would play with his instruments more if he was getting some positive reinforcement from Elmo! ...... Ok, that's total bull, I just want all his toys to match. Call it a weird obsession. No, seriously, call it that because that's exactly what it is. I bought every single "Precious Planet" themed item by Fisher Price just because it was part of the collection, not because my child actually needed it.
None of this would be an issue if toys weren't so effing expensive! A single Elmo toy costs an entire day's work for me, and that's before taxes. Sure, it's partially my fault because I work a job that pays minimum wage, but that a story for another post. If toys weren't so damn expensive, our house would be even more littered with them than it already is (and to give you and idea of what I mean, every room in the house can be covered with toys and his toy boxes would STILL be full). I tell myself that I'm buying toys to stimulate Trey's mind, and while that's partially true, I just get so excited to see his reaction to new things I bring home for him. So while I'll certainly bitch and moan about how expensive Elmo is, and despite the fact that I'm completely aware that it will drive me insane for 3 weeks, then break, I'll still be in line at Target/Walmart the day after Thanksgiving with my bitch stomping boots on, ready to fight the crowds just for those few minutes of smiles and happiness it'll bring my little boy. Where does that leave everyone else on my Christmas list? With cards and homemade coupon books good for hugs and babysitting.
Damn, I'm such a softy. What the hell am I gonna do when he's 16 and it takes a car to make him smile?? Eh, he probably won't be able to snuggle me into getting him anything he wants by then... hopefully.
Christmas shopping used to be simple. Curtis and I would stop off at Target on our way back home to visit the family and pick up one toy for each of our seven nieces and nephews and something for his parents. My siblings-in-law had to go without, unfortunately. But hey, who said love and hugs aren't good gifts?! (Probably the person who only got love and hugs while everyone was opening up iPods on Christmas morning... oh wait, I just described myself).
For Trey's first Christmas I was juiced to buy him some toys! I waited with bated breath until Black Friday, then I burst through the doors of Target at 4am, for once joining the rest of the mothers stampeding to the toy section, leaving bruised and battered childless women in our wake. What was I after you ask? A music table... no, that's it, just the music table. One toy. One $20 toy. If my son ever questions my love for him, this will be the second story I tell him, right after I remind him that he lived in my uterus for 9 months and left my stomach strewn with stretch marks (which I expect to be lasered off sometime in the future as a mother's day present). Buying presents for a 5 1/2 month old baby isn't easy. I figured it'd be best not to go overboard, so I only got him a handful of toys. His music table, some books, and a jumperoo. Ah, the jumperoo. I was so excited for that damn thing. I figured I could put him in it for about 20 minutes and maybe have a quick second to brush my teeth for the first time in about a week, maybe even take a wet washcloth to my "hot spots" before he freaked out. Don't pretend you haven't done it, moms. Showers take time you don't have, so if you're in a pinch, sometimes the best you can do is run a cloth under your arms, under your boobs, through the va-jay and the booty, then repeat to get the soap out. But I digress. Back to the jumperoo. He loathed it. If I even carried him into the vicinity of it, he lost his mind. Well, that was $75 down the drain (that I'll be taking out of his allowance when he's older... lol). Oh well, I thought to myself, next year he'll be big enough to open presents, so it'll be more fun, plus there'll be a wider variety of toys to choose from.
Let's derail from the Christmas train for a second and revisit his first birthday. Trey received a ton of toys from his family and friends, which was awesome because it was just about that time to get him some more age appropriate toys. Apparently those plastic key rings are only fun for so long, who knew? Skip ahead about a week and he's bored with all of them. And I mean ALL of them. He'd much rather play with spoons, pens, phones and remotes, which are obviously sooo much cooler than pianos, guitars, ride-on trains, and a plethora of books, Elmo toys and blocks. Skip ahead to September, and Mommy gets the idea that since Trey loves to bounce on the bed, she should get him a little trampoline with a handle so he can jump to his heart's content. Yeah, another mark in the "Mom buys lame toys" column. He'll get on it for about a minute, look at me for approval, then get off and run to me with his "I did good!" face. Yet another $60 wasted on something that he's got little to no interest in. Good job, Mom, good job.
So now it's October, and my favorite holiday is rapidly approaching once again: Black Friday. For the past 2 years, we've gotten a new TV and a few things for the house on this most special of days. It's like pulling teeth to get Curtis to come with me, but it's worth it to get him on cart duty while I snake my way through people to get to the goods. This year I'm hoping that the "Let's Rock Elmo" goes on sale, because I'll be damned if I spend another $60 on a toy that's going to be thrown by the wayside in favor of spoons and pens. Do you know how many Yankee Candles I could get with that!??! Like one, after tax and shipping, but still, at least I'd USE it, lol. So now, not only am I planning on getting the Elmo, but I feel like I need the entire set, which includes guitar (which Trey already has), a piano (which Trey already has), and a microphone... (which Trey already has). Wait!! Let me explain/justify/validate myself! Elmo recognizes the piano, guitar and mic that belong with his set, and I think Trey would play with his instruments more if he was getting some positive reinforcement from Elmo! ...... Ok, that's total bull, I just want all his toys to match. Call it a weird obsession. No, seriously, call it that because that's exactly what it is. I bought every single "Precious Planet" themed item by Fisher Price just because it was part of the collection, not because my child actually needed it.
None of this would be an issue if toys weren't so effing expensive! A single Elmo toy costs an entire day's work for me, and that's before taxes. Sure, it's partially my fault because I work a job that pays minimum wage, but that a story for another post. If toys weren't so damn expensive, our house would be even more littered with them than it already is (and to give you and idea of what I mean, every room in the house can be covered with toys and his toy boxes would STILL be full). I tell myself that I'm buying toys to stimulate Trey's mind, and while that's partially true, I just get so excited to see his reaction to new things I bring home for him. So while I'll certainly bitch and moan about how expensive Elmo is, and despite the fact that I'm completely aware that it will drive me insane for 3 weeks, then break, I'll still be in line at Target/Walmart the day after Thanksgiving with my bitch stomping boots on, ready to fight the crowds just for those few minutes of smiles and happiness it'll bring my little boy. Where does that leave everyone else on my Christmas list? With cards and homemade coupon books good for hugs and babysitting.
Damn, I'm such a softy. What the hell am I gonna do when he's 16 and it takes a car to make him smile?? Eh, he probably won't be able to snuggle me into getting him anything he wants by then... hopefully.
